19 Years Later
by xXShallowBelieverXx
Summary: "Nineteen years later & Harry Potter is miserable & he has no idea why." In the aftermath of the war, Harry finds himself feeling lost & empty. 19 years pass & nothing changes until he locks eyes with a certain blond Slytherin standing on Platform 9 3/4.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, so this is my first fic, and basically my first attempt at ever writing an actual story so please let me know how I did. I would really appreciate any constructive criticism you can offer so I can improve the story and my writing.**

**This chapter is basically an introduction to the story that explains where Harry is at the moment and what has happened in the past 19 years. **

Nineteen years later and Harry Potter is miserable and he has no idea why. He has the dream life; he married his high school sweetheart, had three kids, snagged his dream job, not to mention he no longer had to worry about Voldemort trying to kill him or the ones he loved. He should be happy, right? Unfortunately for Harry, that isn't the case.

In the beginning, that's exactly what he was – happy, more than happy. He had just defeated the Dark Lord and saved the entire wizarding world, hell, probably the entire muggle world as well. He and Ginny were finally able to be together without Harry having to worry about her being in danger, and the entire wizarding world was at peace. He no longer had to worry about hearing that one of his friends had been killed or that Voldemort had finally decided to end what he had begun the night he killed Lily and James. They were safe, so for a while he lived off the high of being free.

But eventually, after about two years, that feeling of accomplishment and contentment began to fade so Harry had to find a new way to fill that void. He began throwing himself into his work, spending as much time as possible fulfilling his assignments. Being an Auror took so much time and energy that he hardly had a moment of down time to worry the weird feelings he'd been experiencing as of late. He soon became the top Auror in the entire Ministry and he took pride in his work. He loved that he could continue to protecting people from evil as he had during the war. It made him so happy to know that what he was doing was helping countless people live joyful lives. However, even that sense of accomplishment that he found at work could not keep his depression at bay, and even though he was a master at hiding his true feelings, Ginny was beginning to notice.

It was at this time that Harry realized he needed to make a change, take a step forward. So he did the only logical thing he could think of, he asked Ginny to marry him. She of course accepted immediately and that was that, a few months later they were Mr. and Mrs. Potter, and Harry was content for another year or so. Then Ginny came to him with the news that she was pregnant and Harry was thrilled. "Yes," Harry thought, "this is exactly what I need." For Harry had begun to the ache of longing and that feeling of missing something important. Surely a baby would be the answer for that.

Little James Sirius Potter brought much joy to Harry; he hadn't felt happier in a very long time, that is until Ginny told him she was pregnant yet again. Now Albus Severus Potter was in the picture and Harry was ecstatic. Two years later in comes Lily Luna Potter who quickly became daddy's little girl. Harry was so in love with his children that he never once felt that feeling of being incomplete. He thought for sure that all he had been missing in his life was his children.

However, children grow up, and six years later Harry finds himself watching his wonderful children grow more independent each day and that feeling of longing and emptiness begins to creep back into his being. "Maybe if Ginny and I have another child this feeling will go away," Harry thinks. But Ginny tells him he's out of his mind and that they have enough to deal with at the moment. Down trodden, Harry resorts to drowning himself in his work. With his kids taking up so much of his time for the past nine years, Harry hadn't been as focused on his work. He had been taking fewer cases in order to spend time with his children because he knew what it was like to grow up without a father and he didn't want his children to grow up like that. But now his children were older and no longer needed his constant attention. James was ten and would be starting Hogwarts next year, Albus was nine, and his darling little Lily was turning seven soon, they didn't need him around as much. Work seemed to be his best option, but soon he realized that not even his amazing job could fill the void.

As James went off to Hogwarts, Harry's depression flew to an all-time high. He was inattentive, irritable, hardly ate, and stayed out till all hours of the night; Ginny was worried sick. But whenever Ginny would ask Harry about it he would snap at her and lock himself away in his study. Their marriage was growing strained and they struggled to keep up the "happy family" façade for their children. Ginny tried her best to reach Harry, but he just couldn't figure out what was wrong.

Now it is September 1, 2017, and the Potter boys are heading to Platform 9 ¾. As they enter, they begin the search for their cousins. Harry is of course off in his own little world but he vaguely hears James giving Albus a hard time about being sorted. "James, give it a rest," he hears Ginny scold their son. After a few minutes of searching, they finally find the group they are looking for and head off to join the Weasley/Granger clan. They instantly begin chatting amicably about their summers and other random subjects, while Harry drifts in and out of the conversation. At one point Harry feels a nudge in his side and turns to see Ron look at him and then nodding to a person off in the distance whispering, "Look who it is," in is ear. As Harry turns to see who Ron is speaking of, the figure looks up and their eyes lock. "So that's little Scorpius," Ron says, but Harry isn't listening anymore, because suddenly Harry's stomach is in knots, his heart begins to race, and his palms begin to sweat. He doesn't really understand why he is reacting as such because the man he is locking gazes with is only Draco Malfoy, his old school nemesis, but that knowledge doesn't keep time from stopping as he continues to stare into those cool, gray eyes. Maybe it was the fact that Draco's whole look had changed that caught Harry off guard. Gone was the cold, calculating look in his eyes and his trademark scowl. His eyes were now slightly widened with shock and intrigue and his mouth was curved in a small, confused smile as he gazed into Harry's eyes. Harry couldn't help but find himself thinking that Draco looked amazing in that moment and that thought scared him out of his reverie. He quickly tried to pull himself together, scolding himself for thinking of Malfoy in any way other than polite society would expect. Why would he be thinking Malfoy looked amazing anyway? He was not in any way, shape, or form gay…. Was he?

Across the platform Draco Malfoy stood just as confused about the exchange as Potter was. What just happened? Why did he find himself so enthralled by Potter's eyes? He'd looked into those eyes countless times during their years of school but had never once felt that electric shock that had just passed through him when he locked eyes with Harry. Why was now different? Why did he suddenly feel so excited and like he had finally found the place he belonged as he and Harry stood staring into each other's eyes? Draco didn't know, but he knew he needed to find out.

**So that's the first chapter, let me know how I did in a review or a pm or whatever. :) I'll try to update soon.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh, wow! Sorry it has taken me so long to update! What with finals and not having proper computer time, and all, it's been very difficult to get things done. But I'm trying! I'd like to thank everyone who favorite both my story and me as an author. I was incredibly shocked by that! But anyway, enough stalling, here is chapter two. I hope you all enjoy it! Just a warning, there is a dream in here that is a bit overtly sexual and I'm not sure if that's acceptable under the "T" rating. I might end up changing this to "M"…**

**Chapter Two:**

As soon as the children boarded the train, Harry turned to his wife and friends saying, "Sorry guys, I'm going to have to skip out on our plans. I'm feeling a bit ill." He was instantly bombarded with his companions' worried expressions and question, but Harry assured them that he was fine, he just need to go home and rest for a while. They said their goodbyes and as they were getting ready to leave the platform, Harry's eyes were once again pulled towards the blond man standing a little ways away.

Harry examined him closely as he talked to a group of men, probably coworkers, while their wives stood next to them talking about the latest gossip most likely. Malfoy was as tall and thin as ever and he still had that magnificent white blond hair. Whatever he was discussing with his companions was clearly very amusing because at that moment Malfoy threw his head back, laughing loudly and Harry was struck by the thought that he had never seen something quite so beautiful. Wait, what? Malfoy? Beautiful? Ok, something was definitely wrong with him, he needed to get away now before something terrible happened. He quickly exited the station and just as quickly aparated to his home. He was probably just tired is all. He hadn't been sleeping well as of late. There was no need for him to get so worked up.

As soon as Harry enters his house he heads straight for the bathroom to take a shower. He stays in there, just standing under the hot spray of water, for at least an hour, thinking about what had just happened. He thinks about how strange his morning has been and about Malfoy. He cannot figure out why he had reacted so strangely to him on the platform, and finally, after a good deal of time was spent trying to figure it out, he gave up and exited the shower, not even bothering to get dressed. He just heads straight to his bed and throws himself onto it, completely spent. He feels so drained that the moment his head touches the pillow he is out. His peaceful sleep eventually leads itself into dreams, dreams that are normal as can be but they don't stay that way for long.

The dream had started off completely innocent, a picnic with his family in some park, everyone was laughing and having a great time, when suddenly Harry notices someone standing by the restrooms, staring at him. It is here that the dream takes a decidedly different turn, for a soon as he looks into the man's eyes he gets a feeling of excitement. He doesn't understand why seeming him is making him excited, but he knows that he needs to be over there regardless. He turns to Ginny and tells her that he needs to use the restroom and he'll be right back. After giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, Harry jumps up and nearly jogs over to where Malfoy is standing. As soon as he gets close, Malfoy smiles and backs up into the restrooms entrance, silently letting Harry know to follow him.

"What are you doing here Draco," Harry asks quietly. Draco doesn't bother answering however, and instead pushes Harry up against the wall, kissing him passionately, but with a hint of desperation. Harry returns the kiss with just as much intensity. They stay like that for what feels like hours, but could have only been a few minutes, just kissing and enjoying each other's presence. Eventually the need for air became too great and they broke apart, gasping for air. They stood there panting with their foreheads pressed together, smiling like lunatics and just staring into each other's eyes. "Wow," was all Harry could bring himself to say. "Yeah, wow is right," Draco replies with a smirk. Then, as if by some hidden signal, the two move towards each other and press their lips together. The kiss is less frantic now, but just as passionate. Draco swipes his tongue across Harry's bottom lip in a silent askance for more, to which Harry eagerly complies, opening his mouth and allowing Draco's tongue to enter. The second their tongues meet, a shot of electricity courses through their bodies and they both let out a gasp that quickly turns into a moan.

Their hands are beginning to wander now. Harry slips his hands under Draco's shirt, caressing the skin and pulling the shit up over the man's head. "Mmm, Harry," Draco whispers as Harry moves from his mouth to trail open mouthed kisses down his neck, sucking gently on the newly exposed skin, "Feels so good." Harry chuckles and spins them around so that Draco is now the one pressed up against the wall and once again begins placing marks all along Draco's neck. Draco moans quietly and uses this time to remove Harry's shirt and then wraps one of his legs around Harry's and spins them, once again pushing Harry up against the wall. "Harry," Draco whispers, his words filled with desperate need, "I want you. I want all of you."

"Mmm," Harry moans, but quickly catches himself, "Not here Draco, Ginny and the children are just outside. They're probably already wondering where I've gone off to." Draco sighs but nods. He's knows this is how it always goes. Sighing, they break their embrace and slowly but their discarded clothes back on. They kiss one last time before Harry turns to leave saying, "Until next time." And walks out the door back to the lie he lives.

Harry jolts awake suddenly. What the hell? He did not just have a sex dream about Malfoy. He just couldn't have. None of this made any sense. He feels sick all of a sudden and he rushes to the bathroom and empties the contents of his stomach into the toilet. He then gets into the shower in the hopes that it will allow him some much needed time to think about what had just happened. He feels confused and like he's doing something very wrong. It's not only the fact that he had had a dream about cheating on Ginny that has left him such an emotional wreck, it's most importantly the fact of how completely _right_ it had felt to be with Malfoy in that way. He felt like he had finally found that piece of himself that had been missing for so long, and that is what scared him the most, what made him feel completely worthless and dirty.

Ginny called to him that dinner was ready, but he didn't even bother coming down, he knew he wouldn't be able to look her in the eyes and act like everything was ok. He couldn't do anything but lie back down and just stare at the ceiling, thinking about what he was going to do about this new found discovery. He finally decided that he was going to pay a visit to Malfoy the next day, simply to prove to himself that everything that had happened today was just product of his exhaustion and the fact that his children had all left for school. It had nothing to do with Malfoy himself, and he was determined to prove that.

**Alright so I kind of feel weird about this chapter. I literally rewrote almost the entire thing as I was typing it up. The first draft was really horrible and my hands just ended up taking this in a completely different direction than I had originally intended. I'm not too sure how this revised version panned out either though, so please review and let me know what you thought of this it. Also let me know if switching this to an "M" rating is ok. Thanks for reading :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**19 Years Later Chapter** **3**

**Wow, yeah, so this is soooooooo late it's not even funny. I'm so sorry. I didn't have computer access often (and I still don't), and when I did, I realized that my Microsoft Word had disappeared so I had no clue how to write this out. Luckily a good friend of mine informed me that I could just use Google Documents, so you can all thank him for me finally being able to update this story. Again, I am so sorry it took so long to get this out and hopefully it won't happen again. Thank you to those who have stuck around, I really appreciate it. *End of super long AN***

When Harry awoke the next morning, he was immediately bombarded with the memories of yesterday's events. Shame coursed through him as he ran over everything, but he also felt an overwhelming sense of curiosity. He had to know what all this meant. He knew he felt like something was missing in his life, but he found it difficult to believe that the missing piece was the love of another man.

Harry never even contemplated the idea that he could possibly be attracted to men. Why would he? After all, he was the Chosen One, the Savior of the Wizarding World, who would ever have thought that he could be gay? He was always too busy to even think about it though, given how much time being a hero took up. He never delved into his personal feelings on anything really; he never had the time. The only reason he ended up with Ginny was because she was his best friend's sister and the person everyone assumed he'd end up with. But was that really what he wanted-who he wanted? He didn't know anymore. Sure he loved Ginny, but he was beginning to think of it as a friendly or sisterly love, and to be honest, that scared him.

He finally gave up on his internal monologue about an hour later and took a quick shower before he got dressed and walked to his fireplace, preparing to floo to Malfoy's. When he arrived at the Manor, he was greeted by Malfoy's house elf, Pepper, who lead him into a large sitting room where he was told to wait while she fetched Master Malfoy.

The moment Malfoy walked through the doorway,it was like all the air left the room; try as he might, Harry seemed to have lost the ability to breathe-Malfoy was just so _beautiful. Had he always been this beautiful and I had just never noticed it?_Harry wondered.

When Malfoy saw Harry Potter sitting in his house, to say he was surprised would be an understatement; he couldn't believe his eyes. "Potter?" Malfoy asked, "What the hell are you doing here?"

The minute Harry's eyes locked with Malfoy's, it was like he was transported back to the train station the previous day. Suddenly Harry was rushing across the room and before he knew it, his mouth was connected to Malfoy's in a heated kiss. Draco let out a surprised squeak, which harry took advantage of and slipped his tongue into Draco's warm mouth. The second their tongues met, Draco gave up all attempts of struggling and just allowed Harry to ravish his mouth.

Just like in Harry's dream, the two lost themselves in the feel and taste of one another. Time seemed to have ceased, as if they were trapped inside a bubble where the only things that existed were each other and the amazing sensation of their lips sliding against one another, meshing and melding as if they were meant to be connected-like their lips had been specially designed to fit together,

Harry's hands glide up, one grasping Malfoy's jaw lightly, the other tangling itself into the blonde's smooth, silky hair and tugging gently. Draco's hands also begin to wander , wrapping themselves around Harry's waist and pulling him closer until they are pressed flush together. Harry distantly notices that there is something hard pressed against him and he realizes with a start that Draco's hard-on is pressed up against his leg and that he, himself, is also sporting quite the raging erection. When this realization hits him, he instantly stiffens and pulls away, attempting to back away as far and as quickly as possible. Harry looks up at Draco's face and sees him staring at him in shock, the tips of his fingers pressed lightly to his lips. Suddenly overcome with horror, Harry makes a break for the door, but before he can even get halfway, a hand is reaching out and preventing him from leaving. "What was that," Draco whispers to Harry, so low that Harry nearly misses it.

"What was what?" Harry answers back lamely.

"Oh don't give me that bullshit, Potter! You know exactly what I'm talking about!" He says, voice steadily rising until he's almost yelling. "You kissed me! Care to explain why?"

"I-I," Harry stutters, "I have no clue, if I'm being honest. I saw you standing there and I was suddenly overcome by an overwhelming need to be close to you, to touch you, to... kiss you. Don't ask me why, because I honestly have no fucking clue."

Draco just stares at him, mouth slightly agape, completely dumbstruck and at a total loss for words. Harry takes advantage of Malfoy's momentary lack of function and breaks free of his hold and runs for the door, apparating as soon as he steps onto the doorstep.

When he arrives home, he locks himself in his room and ignores everything and everyone, trying his damndest to forget what transpired at Malfoy Manor shortly before. He had no clue how he was going to face his wife and pretend as though nothing at all was amiss. He just hoped that this whole Malfoy thing would blow over and he could return to being happily married to Ginny, the woman he loved and with whom he had three beautiful children. Whatever had just happened with Malfoy could not be allowed to continue or ever be made widely known. He could not afford to lose his children, they were his whole life, and he just knew that if Ginny found out he would not only lose her, but also his children and most likely the love and support of the entire Weasley family, and those were things he was just not willing to lose.

He sat there in the darkness of his room, hoping that everything would be ok and that Malfoy would just leave it be. However, he knew deep inside that Malfoy would do everything in his power to figure out what the fuck had happened in his sitting room. So Harry was forced to think of a way to deflect, should the story get out. Luckily, the word of Harry Potter, Savior of the Wizarding World, was a lot more meaningful than that of Draco Malfoy, Ex-Death Eater. So all he could do was sit and hope that his world did not come tumbling down, and hopefully try to figure out what the hell was happening between him and Malfoy.

**AN: I know these chapters are kind of short, I'm working on fixing that. I'm hoping that once all the action starts and we get past them figuring out what the hell is actually happening between them, that I'll be able to write longer updates. But hey, this is the longest chapter yet, so yay for that! :D**


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